More Than Just Modesty

...continued from previous post.

Keep in mind that no one rationally believes that clothing should remain unchanged since Biblical times, the middle-ages or the nineteenth century. I find it hard to imagine trying to be comfortable in some old fabrics or styles of long ago or trying to stay either cool or warm. I also think it would cause quite a stir showing up to work or church in a tunic! I like my modern comfort and styles; but that is no reason to sacrifice modesty, taste or reverence.

Discussions concerning Christian principles of modesty and propriety in dress invariably turn to debate about proper attire for public worship.

The sub-topic of “what particularly is ‘correct’ dress for church,” “if it should be gender specific” and “how casual or formal should we be” are just some of the copiously written sub-topics relating to decorous church apparel.

It sometimes seems there are limitless debates concerning this in cyberspace alone. Participating in one or simply just reading it shows the apparent danger how sometimes (but not always) the most careful discussion of the matter can fall into danger of becoming an unending debate and an almost circular argument.

All opinions can be grouped into just two basic divisions:

1. those that believe that it does make a difference what we wear to church and
   
2. those that believe it does not matter what we wear to church (unless it is an issue of modesty)

In the first group we have the often used, but still very valid, arguments which basically state how if you are willing to dress up for a secular event, can God deserve no less? It is rhetorically presented that if you think it is alright to wear shorts, jeans, tee-shirts, etc. to church, then “would you care if I dressed that way for your wedding?” You would wear your best clothes to meet the U.S. president, go to Buckingham Palace or even attend a Hollywood premiere – does God deserve any less? (I remember reading one priest’s writing how he believed most people would dress better to visit a drug lord than they would at Sunday mass). It is difficult to argue with that!

Despite the current casual nature of our culture, we still attempt some type of proper dress for many secular/social events. The frivolity or solemnity of these events varies: weddings, parties, funerals, anniversaries, graduations, award presentations to list only a few. Arriving as an invited wedding guest in old jeans or shorts and a tee-shirt is not only going raise the eyebrows of the other guests, but will usually be taken as an insult to the bride & groom and their families! This is because it is still generally understood that when we dress for an occasion, the predominant reason is out of respect.

I had a related experience with this not too long ago. I recently traveled to join other family members for a weekend celebration of my father’s birthday. When we went out for a pre-birthday modest dinner, I attempted to dress nice without formality (dress pants, new dress shirt, tie). Unfortunately, my father laughed at it and poked fun at me a few times for what I thought was unassuming dress up. Once past the emotional devastation, I realized he didn’t understand the sole reason I dressed the way I did was out of love and total respect for him. I personally lean on the side of advocating nice dress for church on those reasons alone: love and respect.

Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God. (1 Peter 3: 3-5 NAB)

Many in the second group listed could quickly find not only the backing of how they feel about casual dress for mass, but almost take the above verse as a literal mandate from St. Peter. God “looks at my heart, not my clothes” or “knows what’s in my heart,” “it's not how we look, it's how we are” and “a person's true beauty comes from within” are all examples of the common points made by those that believe that lesser quality of their garments is of no importance when worshipping in church. Many will point out how they come from backgrounds where there may have existed an un-Christian like social stigma for those not able to economically dress as well as others.

In an older post about dressing for church, Protestant blogger Gerry Charlotte Phelps once wrote about an encounter she had while on her way to church. She met a poorly dressed man who apparently wanted to attend church but was hindered by his lack of having clothing that was better than what he was currently wearing. She rightfully pondered the tactless behavior of some people making Sunday worship a “fashion show” while making congregants that were less stylish and/or more economically humble feel unwelcome or conspicuous.

I am certainly no stranger to circumstances where economic limitations can force you to feel bad about what little you have, especially in dress! Among the scores of emotional outlooks that taunt most of us in early adolescence, I had a heaping dose of teenage self-consciousness. I still remember an anguished moment in time when the day arrived I didn’t have any article of clothing to fit me that was neither torn nor ragged. Because of silly adolescent pride, I tried not to show that such a thing could bother me (but it did and it forced tears I tried desperately to suppress). I didn’t leave the house for days and foolishly kept myself sequestered until my father would arrive on a weekend visit (it was summer so I didn’t have to show myself at school!). Then, I felt I mortified myself by asking him to buy clothes for me.

Carefully considering the above entirely, it all leads to what should really be one of the main concerns here: pride. Being one of the capital sins is not enough for pride; it is often referred as “the sin of sins.” Pride is the sin of the Devil, the first sin committed and the root of original sin. Never suffer pride to reign in thy mind, or in thy words: for from it all perdition took its beginning. (Tob. 4:14)

There is nothing more I can write about pride since Scripture, Itself, is clear about it in many places. It deserves a much more comprehensive concentration which has already been done by the likes of St. Augustine, St. Thomas Aquinas, and many others beyond my inadequate capabilities.

“Pride is the excessive love of one's own excellence.” This is a great danger someone may fall into concerning dressing for church. In making our church apparel part of a weekly fashion show, or worse, having unkind thoughts and opinions of those that cannot dress the same, are we not exalting ourselves in public and in our minds with the pride of vanity? How relevant here is the teaching of Luke 18:9-14.

There is a flipside to this, though! What about the individual that stops himself going to mass simply because he feels his attire is not as fine as others’? How about my own recollection above; was I not guilty of being too proud to be seen in an honest wardrobe I feared others would not socially accept me for? This other side has been referred to as the pride of timidity. In one aspect of this we accommodate our social trepidations of being rejected by man’s respect, putting it above virtue.

So which way do we go? Which is right? Though it sounds ambiguous, I believe the answer is both.

Despite my personal distaste for the errancy of spiritual relativism, this doesn’t quite fit into that category. Therefore, I find myself stating that what one wears physically to worship at Sunday mass is relative to the personal situation.

I wear a nice quality dress shirt, pants, and tie to mass because I am able to! I cannot afford a designer or high quality tailored suit. I cannot pretend to affirm I know all that the Lord wants, but I believe it is a safe bet it would not please Him if I should forego real and basic human needs for a vainglorious wardrobe beyond my means. At the same time, I can’t help but view it as selfishness if I do not offer to Him what I am more than capable of giving.

If “God knows what’s in my heart,” then he also knows the reason I’m wearing a pair of khaki pants and last night’s shirt is because I didn’t want to bother finding my dress pants or taking a clean shirt out of the dryer! Someday I’d have to account to Him why He wasn’t worth just a slight extra effort, wouldn’t I?

Then again, if that pair of pants and old shirt are actually the best I can provide myself, God knows that, too.

What is important is that we give (willingly) what we are capable of offering and not let our prideful natures worry about what more or less others have of themselves to give.

I like what I once found written online by one pastor, "God certainly looks on the heart, but doesn't what we wear on the outside make a big statement about what's on the inside?"

For that reason, I believe the better derived moral is to wear the best that you can within your means out of your love for God. Remember, too, that we are Christians; as such, we are called to proclaim the glory of God that is in our hearts. This does not stop when we enter through the church door. We should proclaim to one another. By our dress during worship we publically proclaim the glory of God and our love for Him.