AA - It's Not Just for Alcoholics

Former male prostitute and stripper is active priest, many protestant ministers have become priests, constant stories about vocations of men much older than me, former pagan religious becomes priest, Church promoting the permanent diaconate even more, and I can go on and on and on...

While I do think it is wonderful that the gain is for the Church in her great need for more priests, I can only personally still feel the anger that I admit envelopes me in darkness. I find it hard to look to the light. I'll never understand why my diocese would not even talk to me or offer any other direction and I'm so angry about being "too old" for 100% of the non-diocesan religious orders I have enquired to.

I have what I call my own personal AA - Anger and Anguish. I am in a constant state of flux between one and the other, rarely, if ever, experiencing both simultaneously. The anguish is extremely emotionally and spiritually painful. I have currently been in the Anger phase the last couple of weeks. The anger isn't good, but at least it eclipses the anguish.

Guaranteed Ways to Make Sure You're Always Lonely and Alone

1. Having parents that don’t want you


2. Go to a 12 step fellowship retreat without being part of the gangs that are there and actually tell people you’re lonely


3. Have the Church reject your vocation and refuse to offer direction


4. Have all religious orders tell you you’re too old to join for the priesthood


5. Be a middle-aged single man and watch the members of the religious order of the chapel you’ve attended for years make the rounds to only greet young people and families and skip by you


6. Be under successful


7. Be over successful


8. Go to work and try to do a good job